Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he just fucked me for my cheese..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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