I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
