I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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