Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
