yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
