I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
