Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
