I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm at about main and main street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize