oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
