i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
