I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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