i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
