Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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