if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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