Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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