saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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