i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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