I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize