So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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