i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
