I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
