I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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