We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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