what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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