Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
how does that bad decision feel?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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