I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
