oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
