Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
