he looks like a really good dad on facebook
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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