Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My dick has a subreddit
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
