I just threw up on my dentist
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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