I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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