Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
