this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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