i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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