dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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