There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
