very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
