so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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