Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.