Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize