oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.