i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?