guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
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i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
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Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with