I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
