Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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