I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize