So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
