i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
