it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think my nap took me to another dimension
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
