or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
