K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
