You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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