What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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