She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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