Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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