Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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