peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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