I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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