I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
