babies were throwing up all over the place
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
