girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
