Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The air was thick with penises
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
