No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think I am morally bankrupt
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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