things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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