Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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