I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
