she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize