come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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