Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
